I’d be happy if this show was 90% comprised of him and Tyrion strolling round exchanging quips. “You walk like a rich man … like the paving stones are your own personal property.” Varys continues to get the best digs in. Peter Dinklage and Conleth Hill: ‘I’d be happy if this show was 90% comprised of Varys and Tyrion strolling round exchanging quips.’ Photograph: 2015 Home Box Office, Inc. Nothing good has ever come of it on Game of Thrones. Don’t go North, little band of people I actually care about on this show. Unfortunately – because one of the main themes of this show is that nobody must ever be allowed to get to where they need to be – it looks very much as though Theon will tell Brienne and Pod they should all head to Castle Black, which obviously is a very bad idea indeed. It was good to see Theon’s spinal regrowth continues at pace as well not only was he prepared to sacrifice himself to save Sansa from Ramsay’s men, but he also managed to save Pod’s life with a well-timed sword thrust. Her arrival just as things were looking particularly gloomy for Theon and Sansa drew an actual cheer from me, while the scene where she pledged her oath to Sansa (and was graciously accepted) was genuinely moving. Thank goodness then for Gwendoline Christie, who continues to make Brienne of Tarth one of the greatest, and most likeable, characters on the show. ‘I pledge to ask no service of you that would bring you dishonour’ This opening episode did little to change that – I’m not sure whether the Sand Snakes have poor delivery or just get the cheesiest lines, but “you’re a greedy bitch you know” was definitely the worst of the episode, and I continue to think it’s a criminal waste to cast Alexander Siddig as Doran and then underuse him so badly.
I have a feeling Benioff and Weiss want us to imagine Federico Garcia Lorca when we head to Dorne, unfortunately most of the time I tend to think of Monty Python’s Camelot. Well, that’s if you consider sparking another war by first murdering a Lannister heir and then killing all the men in the your family to establish what looks likely to be a very blood-drenched matriarchy “organised”. Things took a particularly dark turn over in Dorne where it transpired Ellaria and the Sand Snakes (which really ought to be a band name) are more organised than last season’s events suggested. A number of storylines were set up, from Dany’s possible journey to Vaes Dothrak to Margaery’s ongoing refusal to confess her “sins” to the High Sparrow. Showrunners David Benioff and DB Weiss have said this season is all about the women, and this opening episode did much to suggest they are right. ‘Your son is weak just like you and weak men will never rule Dorne again’ He may not be right but his views are understandable, and that’s one of the most interesting things about this show: the way in which it constantly makes clear that there is no one correct answer or right way to rule. While we know that Jon, understanding the wider issue of the White Walkers, had little option but to open the Wall to the Wildings, Thorne’s opinion that this was treating with the enemy will have been shared by many.
Speaking of Thorne, I may not like him but his speech to the Night’s Watch made some salient points. Meanwhile up in Castle Black, revenge lay heavy in the air as Dolorous Edd and the few remaining members of Jon’s band of brothers reckoned with the late Lord Commander’s brutal end, while presumably planning to meet with the Wildings and thus bring about the very devastation that Alliser Thorne feared.
Cersei mourned her second child as Jaime made it home with Myrcella’s body, and we learnt that Ramsay is actually in possession of a heart as he remembered his childhood meeting with the equally bloodthirsty and now very dead Myranda.